By: Gary John Bishop
Reviewed by: Liyana Johan
The Premise: From the author of Unfuck Yourself, Gary John Bishop is back with his second book Stop Doing That Sh*t which attempts to describe the reasons why we’re stuck in destructive self-sabotaging cycles and how by Stop Doing That Sh*t, we can break through and achieve what we want.
Bishop starts off by laying the foundation of what we think of as the truth, and how we have internalized our versions of the truth into our identity. He then dives deep into the three main “saboteurs” of our lives – the conclusion we’ve made about ourselves, the conclusion we’ve made about people, and the conclusion we’ve made about life itself. Each chapter walks you through examples of how these conclusions keep us hostage in a perpetual cycle of self-sabotage and comes with exercises that show how we can get to those conclusions by ourselves. Bishop argues that all our conclusions are inherently, criticism. “I am not good enough”, “People can’t be trusted”, “Life is unfair”, etc. The book ends off with instructions on how, by understanding our conclusions, we can interrupt those self-sabotaging cycles and can “authentically pivot” to more productive actions that take us closer to achieving our goals.
The Bottom-line: Bishop’s “tough love” writing style sets him apart from the more “good vibes and positive energy” generally found in the “personal development” books genre and he makes sure to point out that he’s not about “the fluffy stuff”. As a lover of “the fluffy stuff” myself, I have to say that I found it hard to connect with Bishop’s message. My generally positive attitude made it difficult for me to resonate with his messages in the book. With a 93% 5-star rating on Amazon though, he’s obviously hit a chord with many. An unexpected outcome for me in reading this book was the realization that I’ve had a childhood filled with connections and an emotional support system that molded a positive outlook on life and sense of self. I grew up in a house where the first question my mother would ask me when I came home from school was “What good thing happened to you today?”. It’s made me clear on the kind of world-view I want to instill in my own kids when the time comes.
What Bishop does provide are ways to understand where negatively held beliefs may come from based on your life experiences. If you’re someone who’s new to the concept of exploring your ‘inner critic’, then I would highly recommend taking a closer look at this book as he definitely hits on some popular limiting beliefs and the ways that we can unintentionally self-sabotage. If you’ve done quite a bit of this type of work, then you can fast forward to the final two chapters of the book where he provides strategies to help you ‘let go’ and, as the title suggests, ‘stop doing that sh*t’.
Recommendation: This book would be useful for those where “tough love” is what they need to get them out of their cycle of self-sabotage.
