Just like a classically bad pick up line (“Do fries come with that shake?”), some leaders are notorious for dishing out lame leadership lines. Case in point: the insecure leader who, when he wasn’t agreeing with what his highly capable direct report was saying, would start his rebuttal sentence with “not to demean you, but…”. Classic. So, I thought I’d poll some members, colleagues and strangers to find out their favourite “worst leadership lines… ever.” Feel free to add your own.
- “We only hire Rockstars, you have to be a Rockstar, everyone needs to be a Rockstar.”
- “We’re going to build enterprise but talk cloud.” (huh?)
- “We lost [employee] today. A good employee. I wish I could say the same for everyone else in the company.”
- “We need a team player that takes direction well, you know… a strong leader that can work independently and is a self starter.”
- “We will strive to be the blah blah blah blah; as reasonable.” (This was the mission statement!)
- “We want to become the “leader” in XXX by “following” best practices…”
- “You aren’t here for the client. You are here for me, to do what I tell you to do.”
- “Competence is presumed; personality is king.” (Yikes…)
- “It’s not exactly rocket science…”
- “Everyone better do a good job IRREGARDLESS of whether they like it or not.” (Motivational AND grammatically incorrect!)
- “Though I respect your point of view but…” (Frankly, let’s add anything with a “but”)
- “We are in it to win it.” (And any other cheesy pep quote)
- “We have to break the paradigm of the blue sky process.” (A+ for consultant mumbo-jumbo on that one!)
- “I want everyone’s ideas. Just don’t expect me to use them.”
- “Consider me a benevolent dictator.”
- “My door is always open. Unless it’s closed.” (Oh my.)
- “Do as I say, not as I do.”
- “As leader, I’m the one that makes things happen around here. That’s why I’m paid the big bucks.” (Which came on the heels of layoffs and salary freezes).
- “Well, in MBA school I learned…” (Which was the pre-cursor to overriding any decision).
- “I know not everyone’s as smart as I am…” (True story…)
- “Self development is good. I’ve never seen the need to do it myself…” (From a boss who churned employees monthly).
- “It is what it is.” (true enough but doesn’t need to be repeated 25x a day)
- “I’ll only be the boss when I have to be the boss. But remember, I’m the boss.”
- “My employees, my team, my assistant…” (It’s all about me…)
- “Everyone needs to keep priorities straight, and that’s not family and weekends” which was followed by something about how to be a “Rockstar.”
Well, those are the ones we could print anyway. F-bombs, racial and sexist comments and other types were omitted from this PG list. What are some of your favourite worst lines ever? Share a laugh or horror story and let us know.
Happy leading!
